What is this

So last night as I am folding this huge mound of laundry, something falls out of my husbands shorts.  First thought in my head as I looked down at the little square package that is laying on the floor is, what is that, nothing more.  Then as I pick up the package I think to myself and giggle.  My husband is in the other room playing video games at the time.  As I walk towards the room I shout.  "Why is there a condom in your shorts?"  I peek around the corner to see him, as he questions what I said.  I hold up the little square package and say again, "why is there a condom in your shorts, it fell out while I was folding the laundry".  Barely able to look over at me, because of his game, he says it must be his nephews.  I can't help but giggle as I stand there for a minute waiting for him to really look at me, because the package is not a condom at all.  It was a pack of fish hooks.  I so love messing with people.

Watch What You Say

Everyone knows the old saying for parents to watch what they say around the children.  They will repeat it.  Evidently my kids really do listen to what I say, even if they act like they don't sometimes.  We were having a nice lunch today with my parents, when my Mom started talking about peanuts.  I guess my father had given some to Logan yesterday, which caused him to have an accident in his pants.  Nice lunch conversation, I know.  When she said the word poop, Brianna interrupted quickly by asking what the adult word for it was?  My Mom looked puzzled, and didn't quite get the question, so I explained.  I have said "shit" before, and Brianna has busted me on it.  She knows it is an adult word and she isn't supposed to say it, but she didn't know what it meant, so, I told her it was an adult word for poop.  I thought this was a pretty good explanation.  Clearly I have been outsmarted by a four year old.  Now when she hears poop, she wants to hear the adult word for it.  What have I done?  Oh well, at least she doesn't repeat shit.

The Games Kids Play

I walk in to the play room the other day, and the kids are playing with these reflective stickers we got for trick-or-treating.  I go over and start doing the laundry, and that's when I hear Brianna say, "which one has more hair on it?"  To which Logan responds, "that one", as he points to the orange sticker.  "Nope", says Brianna, so sure of herself as she lifts the sticker to reveal a few pieces of dog, bunny, and people hair.  Then she looks at Logan to be sure he is watching as she lifts the pink sticker, which looks as if she ran it along Sparky's back.  This thing was almost black.  Right away I am thinking, yikes, is my house that dirty?  But I think about it a second, and those stickers have been around for a month.  I do remember seeing one of the stickers on Chili also, so who knows?  I remember playing some strange games when I was a kid too.  Poop on a stick, anyone?

Laughing all the way from the bank

My husband and I share a lot of the same qualities.  But, unlike me, he gets embarrassed when the kids act silly in public.  One afternoon, he had the pleasure of taking the kids with him to the bank.  I can just imagine the kids not wanting to stand still while they waited in line, and am sure they asked if they would get lollipops a million times.  They know the bank and pharmacy give them out.  These kids are smart.  Anyway, as they stood in line at the bank, my daughter ripped one.  Then she proceeded to yell out that she had farted, and it stunk really bad.  It did, and everyone in line noticed.  I can picture my husband turning red in the face with embarrassment, and starting to sweat.  He does that when embarrassed, or nervous.  Most of the customers thought it was funny and laughed, but he was quick to get out of there as soon as he could.  My poor Hubby.

Dutch Oven

I don't know how much of an issue other mothers have getting the kids to bed each night, but in my house, it is no picnic.  There is usually a lot of whining about it.  Plus the usual,  I want milk, or I have to go pee.  Well, since the hubby is working out of town, the kids have been in my bed lately.  Last night, the giggling and fighting between them was getting a little out of hand.  After having to quiet them a few times, I decided try something new.  So I told them, quiet or I will put you in a dutch oven.  Of course they do not know what this means, but neither of them made a sound after I said it.  I am thinking they probably were thinking along the lines of Hansel and Gretel...lol.  Even though this worked so well, I couldn't help but feel a little let down.  I had let one loose in the car earlier, and the stench was enough to widen my eyes and think back to what I ate the night before.  I was sort of looking forward to sharing the stink and hearing the reaction from two unabashed victims.  Oh well, I am sure there will be plenty of opportunities in the future.

What was that now?

We were in a store the other day, when I picked up a turkey baster and said to my 4 year old daughter, "Daddy wants one of these to get the snails out of the fish tank."  She looked at it and thought for a second before saying, "That's for Daddy's butt."  I was shocked by her statement, but could not help to giggle.  What would make her say that?  The more I thought about it, the harder it was not to laugh.  When I got to the end of the isle where she was standing there was a woman, who had heard what she had said.  She looked at me and then she looked at the turkey baster.  The look on her face was priceless.  It was everything I could do not to burst into laughter.  It was definitely a moment I will remember forever.