Cracking Laundry

     So, yesterday, I was folding laundry while my husband was playing a video game.  My pants that I was wearing kept sliding down little by little to show my butt crack.  I became tired of pulling them up pretty quickly, so I got another idea.  I am goofy, so I decided to let my crack hang out, and see how long it would take for my husband to notice.  Giggling to myself, I folded piece after piece of laundry, and my pants kept sliding down.  Unfortunately, my shirt was a little long, so it kept covering it back up.  As I walked into another room to put away some of the laundry, I tried tying my shirt so my butt crack would be more visible.  It fell back down as soon as I started walking again.  The next time I walked out of the room, I rolled it up and it stayed this time.  I must have walked in front of my husband about ten times, with half of my ass hanging out, without him even noticing.  I finally had to stop and block the TV so he would notice. I hate video games.

I Dream of Pee Pee

        I don’t remember a lot of my dreams, but there are some that are unforgettable.  I have some very strange dreams.  Even though I am now 43 years old, I sometimes even still have dreams about missing the school bus.   One of the most frequent types of dreams I have though, have to do with the bathroom, or the need to use the bathroom.  I always get up at least once a night to use the bathroom, so I think, if I am really tired and sleeping when the urge hits, my mind plays tricks on me in my dreams to make sure I don’t wet the bed.
Once I was visiting a friend and had to go poop.  They pointed me in the direction of the bathroom, and I made my way in there.  When I looked around, the walls were disgustingly dirty, and there were clothes all over the floor.  I made my way to the toilet and was about to sit down to relieve myself when I realized, the toilet was stuffed with clothes and was not working.  I tried pulling out the clothes so I could go, but they were never-ending.  There were all kinds of clothes in there.  T-shirts, pants, sweaters, I think I even pulled out a coat.
On several different occasions, I have had dreams where I have to use the restroom so bad, but I get in there and the toilet is just sitting on the floor without any plumbing system.  I am talking about how they sit in a store, unusable.  It always seems like I have to poop really bad, but when I actually do wake up, I usually just need to pee.
My most memorable potty dream was some time ago, but it was so weird, I will never forget it.  I was at a fair, and had to go.  I looked all over for a bathroom, but couldn’t find one.  I saw port-o-potty’s, but they were all occupied and I really had to go bad.  I searched for more with no luck.  Finally someone told me that you had go over there, and pointed.  They were pointing right at the skee ball area.  I was so confused.  In this dream, you had to use the bathroom in the holes where the balls go in on the skee ball game, out in the open, in front of everyone.  I tried and tried, but just could not do it.  I was so concerned that I was being  tricked into doing something wrong.  I finally woke up and hauled butt to the bathroom.  I think this was actually the first of my potty dreams.  Maybe that is why I remember it so well.
I have always wondered what would happen if I found a nice, clean, private, and functional bathroom in my dream.  Would I wake up to a mess in real life?

If Your Friends Jumped Off A Bridge Would You? Why, Certainly!

There are some sayings that almost every parent says to their kid.  “Don’t put that in your mouth.  Do what I say, not what I do.  Because I said so, and if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?”  I have said most of these to my kids.  The last one though, I have a hard time with.  This is because, my friends did jump off a bridge, and so did I.  It was a hot spring afternoon, in the Town of Windsor.  A bunch of us kids from the track team gathered after practice and made our way to the river.  The bridge was just high enough that it was scary, but not so high that it was deadly.  I guess if you landed on something floating in the river, it could have been pretty bad, but we used spotters to keep an eye out before each jump.  Everyone wore sneakers so the impact didn’t hurt your feet, and because the bottom of the river was a mushy mess.  I will never forget the rush I felt as my feet left the edge of the bridge.  It was like the main drop of a rollercoaster.  The water was such a wonderful refreshment from the heat.  It is one of my most fond memories from high school.   I loved doing outrageous things and this fit in perfectly with my adventurous spirit.